A Bucket List for My Firstborn


We didn’t celebrate her half birthday last year, but this year we did. We made a big fuss about it all day. We even gave her treats and made cupcakes with sprinkles. Sort of like a ‘yes’ day. I think the reason why I was feeling like we should make a big fuss was because in two months she’ll go from being our only baby, to being one of our babies.

You see, my motherhood journey didn’t start off with the typical “planning for a baby”. Lil Bean was a surprise. Not unwanted, but definitely not expected. She was 15 weeks along, nice and cozy in my uterus before D and I found out she was even there. Not a single day of morning sickness or other pregnancy symptoms to make me even think I was pregnant.

My second born, now that’s a different story. They were planned. And it was a hard journey to getting there.

I always wanted a big family. I told D that if we were going to have kids, I knew I wanted more than we can handle. I wanted to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet in my home. The screaming of kids fighting over silly things like “she ate my string cheese”, and “he touched my legos”. Silly, miniscule things. So when we suffered a miscarriage a few days after Christmas in 2018 it was heartbreaking. Especially since we just found out a few weeks before.

We waited the recommended 3 months and tried again. We were lucky and quickly got pregnant with Lil Peanut. And while I was happy, I realized our party of 3 was going to become a party of 4. I wasn’t sure how Lil Bean would take it. Would she enjoy being a sibling? Would she be jealous of her sibling? Would she stop spending time with me because I’d now have to devote a good chunk of time taking care of her younger sibling? All of the insecurities flooded my mind. I was happy and sad at the same time.

Hence the bucket list. I wanted to fill Lil Bean’s last few months as our only child with everything and anything under the sun, all while preparing her for her sibling’s arrival. Here’s what D & I packed in for Lil Bean.

  • Disney California Adventure Oogie Boogie Bash
  • Day trip to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach
  • Visit a local pumpkin patch and decorate pumpkins
  • Trick or Treat at the Air and Space Museum AND locally with family friends
  • Celebrate her half birthday with cake and candles
  • Pick up our Christmas tree and decorate it with Mommy and Daddy
  • Buy an Advent Calendar for the Christmas season
  • Bake holiday cookies and share them with our neighbors
  • Tons of arts and crafts with Mommy
  • See Frozen 2 — her first movie experience with Mommy and Daddy
  • Day trips to the National Zoo in D.C.
  • Meet Santa Claus at a Santa Claus Breakfast event
  • Christmas filled with lots of presents, happiness, and laughter
  • Go to Mommy’s prenatal appointments to listen to sibling’s heartbeat

And there you have it. From August 2019 to January 2020, D and I put our best efforts in. I’m surprised we were able to accomplish so much! (We had only 1 car at the time because one of our cars broke down…) And even though I think Lil Bean had a great time hanging out with her parents and having all of these fun experiences before Lil Peanut’s arrival, I think the bucket list was mostly for me to calm my uneasiness. I really wanted to make her feel special for a few more months because she made me a mom.

And I love every single moment being her mom.

‘Til the next time.

E

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